I need some closure, would this message be too upfront? FEMALE ADVICE PLEASE?

So yeah, there is this girl, and through a huge misunderstanding on my part we stopped talking( i thought she didn't like me, and she lost her phone). I tried contacting her after 2 months and she seemed really sad.





I know for a fact she has the ';if they dont care about me, i dont care about them'; attitude and I think she thinks I don't care. She was emotionally abused by a stalker boyfriend back 2 years ago. He was married and living his own life, and made her seem like she was the one. Then the guys wife started threatening her and then a year later he started stalking her (registered at her college, started working at her gym, following her around, and the guy was like 8 years older than her)





Well i tried saying things to cheer her up, but i think i was just making myself look more like a cold heartless jackass.





So I needed some closure and I wanted to Facebook email her saying this:











';Hey, I know its been a while. I don't know why we stopped talking, but it was def niice talking to you. Anyway, I just wanted to get this out of the way, back 2 months ago, I think i started falling for you, and didn't want things to get awkward, and i didn't know how you felt, so I just left it at that. Your a beautiful and witty person, and I like that. Well I just wanted to get that out of the way, you'll probably never hear from me again. BTW, hope you enjoyed your bday. bye';











I think from that i'll have closure because im bipolar, and its hard to analyze the signs and my attitude. Sometimes i'll think that she hated me and is such a ***** for being all sad, then other times im like ';damn, im such a stupid asshole, how could i have messed this up, the signs were all there, she was like in love with me aghh';








You see, she was ';scarred for life'; from this loser stalker guy, so she does everything to avoid guys like that. She is still single, but im just afraid that ill make it worse if i try talking to her again, because i will could come off as two things.





A clingy guy who doesn't get it.





or the opposite





An asshole who lead her on and then disappeared, then returned like nothing ever happened, then disappeared again, and now wants to return again.





I think with an email, its like a ';let me just get this out, if you hate me, you don't have to worry about me ever again';





Any other ideas?I need some closure, would this message be too upfront? FEMALE ADVICE PLEASE?
That's not closure. That's manipulation. If you wanted closure, you'd simply explain what happened, not guilt trip her with ';I fell for you and you'll never hear from me again, dramatically arranged last words sob bye';.


She has trust issues because people lie to her, and that's why you think you shouldn't tell her the truth? Stop and think about that for a moment.


Seriously, stop trying to turn this into a soap opera. ';Hi. Sorry we lost touch. I thought you wanted nothing to do with me because I sent you two text messages and you didn't respond. I hope I was wrong so let's give it another shot if you want. If you don't want to do that, I'll keep my distance.'; Simple, honest, non-manipulative. If you're not prepared to do that, leave her alone.I need some closure, would this message be too upfront? FEMALE ADVICE PLEASE?
YOU SHOULD GET IN TOUCH WITH HER TO LET HER KNOW HOW YOU FEEL AND IF SHE RESPONDS THEN TAKE IT FROM THERE, BUT IF SHE DOESN'T THEN FORGET HER JUST LEAVR HER ALONE TO DEAL WITH HER OWN ISSUES.
';Hey, I know its been a while. I don't know why we stopped talking, but it was def niice talking to you. Anyway, I just wanted to get this out of the way, back 2 months ago, I think i started falling for you, and didn't want things to get awkward, and i didn't know how you felt, so I just left it at that. Your a beautiful and witty person, and I like that. Well I just wanted to get that out of the way, you'll probably never hear from me again. BTW, hope you enjoyed your bday. bye';





That part sounds good. Leave it at that. See what she does. Go from there. That will let you know.



aww that is so sweet, if all guys did that it would save us the hassle of dechiphering everything!





No i do not see a reason why she would consider that clingy or stalkerish at all, seeing as how you left her a message and left it at that and to her discretion to leave a message back.





And especially because it was honest and such she will really appreciate that too. :) best of luck
I would write her with what you suggested, but don't say the part about you'll probably never hear from me again. Let her make that choice. Good luck, you'll never know unless you try. Plus give her time to respond, like you said she has trust issues, so let her think about how she wants to respond.
Telling her how you feel is a good idea, but after you toss the ball to her, it is her turn and you have to be patient and don't expect anything in return.





Answer mine please:


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