Please help! Female advice please?

Hi all





I am a 35 year old man who doesn't seem to have much luck with relationships.





My girlfriend of two years moved out about 2 months ago saying that she didn't know what was wrong and that she thought perhaps there was more to life. I didnt even realise there was a problem. Eventually she told me that she wasn't attracted to me anymore and that perhaps the age difference was a factor (she is 10 years younger.) She had been telling me that she loved me right up to a couple of days before the split.


I have tried not to contact her apart from for her to get her stuff and most of the time she seems fine where as I have been a bit of a wreck.





I love her so much and miss her dearly and have been trying to move on? She has broke up with me twice before and we have got back together. I don't want to be a doormat but I don't want to lose the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with.





Just this week she has called me twice and sent me a text just to see how I am. Does this mean she is having regrets?





Really don't know what to do. My brain is telling me not to get back with her even if she wants to and begs me but my heart breaks every time I see her (we work together)





Please could you ladies tell me what you think is on her mind.


Is she starting to regret her decision, playing games with me or is she just genuinely concerned as a friend might be?





Thank you all so much in advance for your help





G


Please help! Female advice please?
i would say that she is probably just generally concerned. It is hard not to care about someone you once loved and spent so much time with, even if you don't want to be with them in a romantic sence.





as for the break up ... with time things will get better and just remember if it is meant to be, it will be. Please help! Female advice please?
I think that she is tired of you to be honest. 10 year age gap is too big for her age and yours too.


I don't really think she is having regrets, she is just used to you.


Move on!


Find someone closer to your age.


Good Luck!
i think that she wants to see other people and i know that it might be hard for you but after a while start dating other people yourself and show that you don,t need her she will prob come running back
Offer to meet up just for a drink and a chat for old times sake and just as friends. You will soon be able to tell from what she does and says if there is any hope to get back.
Move on. I know that sounds harsh but if ya'll have broken up twice then it's probably not meant to be. There is someone out there for you. It takes time. I was in a two year relationship that ended horribly but I was able to remove myself from it and now I am dating an amazing person who might be the one. If you keep thinking about her you might miss the right one. Try to stay busy and meet new people.
I think it is a little bit of both, she regrets hurting you and wants to make sure that you are ok. BUT the issue here is what went wrong in the relationship to begin with. You said she broke up with you before! What was her reasoning then? Attraction for most women comes from the inside, not the out side, so something has changed in the way she see's you from the inside. Have you changed? Are you passive about your relationship when you were in it?


Sometimes the loss of attention can lead to a brake up, therefore she is craving some emotions from you that she isn't getting when you two have been doing ';good';.


I would bet she loves you very much, but doesn't feel any spark left coming from you, so maybe if you just can sit her down and talk to her, tell her that you are a lost man without her and that you want to make this work and ask her what she needs from a relationship. Maybe she has been expecting a marriage proposal and hasn't gotten one? I am not in your shoes, but I know when things get stale, sometimes women try ot find a way to spice it up.


Go that extra mile for her, and not only for the first month (if you get back together) but continue to show her you love her in small ways, and the results will be huge!


Good luck!



Do not contact her - she just wants to feel some emotional support which is normal after a long relationship - you gotta think of you and being or meeting her is not going to help you - help yourself first she didnt fancy you anymore - well take stock and think about who you are and how you behave - enjoy life and concentrate on you - you will be fine and time is great healer - bond with the boys and get out there - life comes once enjoy it
You obviously want answers Glenn, but not knowing either of you personally the most anyone can truthfully give you is thoughts for you to consider.





First off Glenn the difference in age at 25 and 35 isn't an issue. Secondly since you work together she knows very well how you are. And as far as you not realizing anything was wrong, well this is very common in many relationships. I have heard many times ';I don't know why ??? left, we were so happy together';. Obviously the one that left wasn't.





The fact that you work together makes the situation very awkward. Her calling you may be a way to keep things on friendly terms. You say that you want to keep her in your life. But consider carefully, do you really want someone in your life that is going to keep coming and going whenever she feels like it? Where does she live or stay when she leaves you, is she out partying or just taking a breather from togetherness. Some people in relationships tend to cling to the partner where that one will start feeling smothered. For this reason many couples take holidays separately.





As far as saying I love you, what must be remembered is that the word love is rather overdone. People also use the word love when referring to their dog, cat, color and chocolate. When it comes to people saying I love you to each other each must first know what love means to the other person. As an example a person may feel that love is; loyalty, compassion, care giving, and a sense of oneness. The other person may feel that love is simply sexual or comfortable. Both are correct just not in balance with each other. Often times also people say I love you to cover an underlying feeling of guilt. Perhaps he/she is unhappy and know they want to leave but don't really want to hurt the other.





These are suggestions to what the problem may be as I stated at the beginning. It is very hard to help with a problem of this kind not personally knowing the individuals involved. I suggest also Glenn that you take the 'time of year' into consideration before making any decisions. This is a time of year where loneliness is felt the most. Parties, gifts and togetherness is as common as the theme itself. Any deaths or break-ups at this time are twice as difficult than they would be at any other time. Also breakups are hardest on the one that is left. There is a 'vacuum' that once was filled.





I guess the advice I would give one of my daughters, or a friend in your situation, would be to keep things on a 'friendly' level. Live separately in your own apartments but go out together if you both choose to do so. I would also suggest that you keep your eyes open for someone who will be content with the life and love that you offer. And don't feel guilty when you find that other one. As it is right now this one has your emotions on a roller coaster, and this isn't healthy in the long run.
If you really love her that much, you'll move on. The fact that you've got back together with her before and then broken up again proves it might just never work. You don't, however, have to completely block her out your life. Go out for a coffee somewhere etc. Just be friends and keep looking for the right girl - It'll be worth it





Good luck
sounds like she wants to keep you hanging on until she decides what she wants. she may be the kind of person who doesnt want you but doesnt want anyone else to have you, either.


she left you 2x before. that aint good. she texts you? why does she not CALL you? because its easier to keep her distance by texting.


can you change jobs for your own emotional well being?


she COULD be a concerned friend, but i think not. shes stringing you along. move on before it gets worse and she comes back AGAIN!
Hello here,





She could be checking up on you because she feel bad having left you like that, she could be regretting what she did or she could be playing games.





It's actually hard to know because we are all different and unless you ask her , you won't really know.





Even as girls,we can't really guess what's on her mind/heart :) She might just have been in one those moments where we wonder what else we could have done, or if life is better elsewhere...and when most of us will just wonder but do nothing she really took her chance and walked off to see what else is out there.





Whether she regrets it or not, I'm pretty sure she must be feeling bad about it.





But life is short, and we all make mistakes. So I would say, have a last talk to her, to make sure that she's certain about what she's doing, is it a temporary crisis or does is she really not attracted to you anymore? Maybe you guys need to spice things up, or maybe it's not meant to be.





I know it's a lot of maybe and I am not sure I really helped here, but give it a try and talk to her.
She probably feels a little guilty for breaking your heart that is why she wants to make sure you are ok that is all, how many times are you going to get together with her and then brake up again? you may want to spend the rest of your life with her but I don't think she wants to do that with you, it has been 2 month now, you need to put yourself together and let her go, you don't know if she gets back to you and then she is going to break up with you again and I don't think that is very healthy for you right? For now I say follow your head not your heart or you will get hurt again. And 10 years is a lot of difference, get someone your age. ET.